Wednesday, February 17, 2016

parenting reflection: to yell or not yell

saw this on someone's Facebook page and it speaks so much to me as a mom. I've been trying very hard to be conscious of what I say in reaction to a situation. I'm picking my battles. I take a breath before I speak. That helps me to not yell as much. I said "not yell as much", because I'm a work in progress. It's hard to remember that they're just kids, even if you tell them the same thing five times a day. "Hang up your coat. Put your shoes in your room. Hang up your towel. Wash your hands. Get your clothes on. Why aren't your shoes and socks on yet? Put on your hat and gloves." (If you're a parent you know the drill.) I want to scream it, but what's the point? Personally, if I'm yelled at, the last thing I want to do is accommodate the yeller. Kids are little humans with a ton of pride. They probably feel the same way. 

The first time I reflected on my yelling and nagging, I felt horrible. I don't want Sister Sue and G to remember me this way. One of my principals told a story in a meeting that really hit home. She said she found herself nagging her own children in the mornings to hurry up and get ready. One day she compared it to why a student came to school upset and having a bad day before it even started. This student was yelled at the entire morning by his parent. That's when she decided it's not her children's fault she's running behind. If they need more of her attention while they're getting ready for school, then she needs to get up 10 minutes earlier. When she told this story, I felt like I hit a brick a good way. I started getting up 10 minutes earlier and now I feel like I don't nag my kids as much. They still need lots of reminders and help getting ready, but at least I'm not rushing to get myself ready starting at the same time.

Some of my students live in a homes where they get yelled at constantly. This makes it difficult to focus on schoolwork, play fair and speak kind words. I don't want that to be Sister Sue and G. I want them to remember me in a more positive way and start their day off feeling great. 

What are some of  your tricks to staying calm when you want to scream?

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